Wednesday, December 25, 2013


Wednesday, December 25, 2013

Terlampau .........

You find oil, you don't find oil, its not commercially viable,... thats all fine, that is part and parcel of investing and the risks surrounding them. BUT not when a group of insiders started selling way before the news. Even though they suspended Hibiscus, and the news came out in papers today ... JUST LOOK AT THE SELL DOWN 3 days before. 

Bursa and SC .... Unless you think Malaysian investors are stupid, you have to do something. If you do NOTHING, then its POINTLESS with your investor protection rules, or championing the integrity of SPACs or any listed counters. 

This type of insider sell down has happened many many times before... but I haven't seen one with such audacity.

The fierce sell down from its 52 week high shows that somebody indeed knew something. That is, the announced news MUST HAVE ALREADY BEEN KNOWN at least 3-4 days prior to the announcement. So, who knew, who leaked, who benefited, who sold ahead ....

Just rope in all the sellers account for the last 3 trading days, match all trades with prior buy/sells in the counter for the past year. These accounts are obviously linked to either the main substantial owners, or syndicates or the big kahuna.

If SC does nothing, then we all should know where the "loyalty" lies, shouldn't we???

24/12/20131.840.00 - 0.001.840.00 (0.00%)0
23/12/20131.840.00 - 0.001.840.00 (0.00%)0
20/12/20132.111.83 - 2.211.84-0.27 (12.80%)8,963,100
19/12/20132.392.02 - 2.402.11-0.28 (11.72%)6,695,600
18/12/20132.582.37 - 2.582.39-0.20 (7.72%)5,071,500
17/12/20132.602.59 - 2.672.59+0.04 (1.57%)916,700
16/12/20132.692.55 - 2.712.55-0.13 (4.85%)1,945,800
13/12/20132.622.62 - 2.742.68+0.06 (2.29%)5,433,200
12/12/20132.452.41 - 2.642.62+0.19 (7.82%)4,922,800

24/12/20131.320.00 - 0.001.320.00 (0.00%)0
23/12/20131.320.00 - 0.001.320.00 (0.00%)0
20/12/20131.621.32 - 1.681.32-0.29 (18.01%)25,048,000
19/12/20131.811.60 - 1.811.61-0.21 (11.54%)18,132,500
18/12/20132.001.79 - 2.001.82-0.19 (9.45%)11,535,100
17/12/20132.032.01 - (0.00%)1,509,700
16/12/20132.092.00 - 2.132.01-0.10 (4.74%)5,303,300
13/12/20132.082.06 - 2.162.11+0.03 (1.44%)11,723,700
12/12/20131.901.90 - 2.092.08+0.18 (9.47%)15,678,600
11/12/20131.901.89 - 1.931.90-0.01 (0.52%)2,748,900

Starbiz: Hibiscus Petroleum Bhd, the first special-purpose acquisition company (SPAC) to be listed on the local bourse, has discovered oil in its Oman assets, but the first well is not commercially viable.

The oil and gas exploration outfit told Bursa Malaysia that Masirah Oil Ltd, a jointly controlled entity of Lime Petroleum Plc, had suspended its first exploration well, Masirah North North 1 (MNN 1) in Block 50 Oman, for further evaluation on safety reasons.

The group noted in a press statement that the well had been drilled to a total depth of about 1,000m below the mean sea level.

“Mud losses in two carbonate sections of the well prevented Masirah Oil from reaching its planned target depth,” it said.

Hibiscus’ data acquisition, coring and logging programme of the formations that were drilled was completed on Dec 21, 2013, indicating the presence of non-commercial hydrocarbons.

“Datasets acquired from the coring and logging programmes are now being utilised to refine the geological understanding of the area. In addition, the information acquired has assisted all partners in the Oman Block 50 project to identify a second exploration well as the next drilling location.

“It is anticipated that drilling at this location would commence within the next two weeks,” the group said, subject to the approval of the Omani government.

Hibiscus was suspended from trading on Monday, pending the announcement. Its share price tumbled 29% from RM2.59 on Dec 17 to RM1.84 prior to its suspension. Its warrants fell 34% from RM2.01 on Dec 17 to RM1.32 before their suspension. The counter will resume trading tomorrow.

Managing director Kenneth Pereira said: “Whilst we are disappointed with the final result of the MNN 1 drilling programme, we are proud that as a young company with a small technical team, we have demonstrated our ability to conduct a safe drilling operation, in a remote offshore area of a foreign country without health, safety or environmental issues.”

Using the data obtained from the drilling of MNN 1, the group said all partners in the Block 50 Oman project were now in the process of finalising the next drilling location.

“The proposed well would be defined by 3D seismic mapping and would have strong Rex Virtual Drilling (RVD) indications in various formations. The prospect would also have been analysed using conventional techniques.”

Pereira added that the RVD technology had been tested exhaustively in 41 locations in Norway and had performed successfully on 40 occasions.

“It is a tool that is and would continue to drive a great deal of growth in Lime Norway and is expected to do the same elsewhere for us and our partners, Rex International Holdings. Our current drilling programme was developed to take into account both successful and non-successful outcomes at MNN 1,” he said.

When the counter was suspended on Monday morning, anticipation was high for the company to announce development related to the venture, in which the SPAC has a 22% net share.

The firm had previously estimated the prospective resources of about 160 million barrels of oil, worth about RM3.3bil, in the two areas.

To recap, Hibiscus was said to be spending some RM100mil to drill two wells – MNN 1 and Masirah North East 1 – in Oman. This implied the company would have to write off RM50mil from its books for the non-produceable well, an analyst said.

Analysts pointed out there could be two main reasons why Hibiscus found oil which was not commercially viable: one, it could have been a drilling mistake, and two, it could boil down to undesirable oil properties. In Hibiscus’ case, it was the latter.

“If they found heavy oil in the first well, it is likely that the oil quality for the whole reserve is not commercially viable, because the wells are usually located within a close vicinity,” an analyst noted.

However, another analyst said there was a possibility that pressure at the first well was not high enough for oil to flow out, which was why it was moving to the second well.

The drilling programme does not stop at whether or not Hibiscus strikes oil. It will also impact investors’ perception towards Rex Technology.

According to one analyst, this proved that the Rex Technology is able to detect oil. Another analyst, however, is less optimistic, as this venture served as a test case for the company.

Hibiscus had acquired a 35% stake in Lime for US$55mil (RM181mil) as its qualifying acquisition in April 2012 due to its portfolio of assets and access to RVD.

The Block 50 Oman concession, in which Lime has a 64% participating interest, is estimated to have risked resources of almost 390 million barrels of oil based on the fourth quarter 2011 study by an independent petroleum sub-surface consultant, Aker Geo AS of Norway.

Masirah’s other shareholder is Petroci Holding, the national oil company of Ivory Coast, which has a 36% participating interest in Block 50 Oman.

Malaysia-Finance Blogspot

Wednesday, December 4, 2013


MRO industry gearing for rapid global growth
First published in The Malaysian Reserve on 25 November 2013
26 NOVEMBER 2013 (The Malaysian Reserve)

The aircraft and marine maintenance repair and overhaul (MRO) industry in Malaysia is gearing to boost capacity and enhance its services to attract more global players to the country. As customers are operating in an increasingly competitive landscape that calls for airline fleets to operate at peak performance, GE Engine Services Malaysia Sdn Bhd (GEESM), a company that specialises in aircraft engines, said it plans to boost capacity by bringing in additional high-tech equipment such as grinding and balancing machines. "To respond to customer needs, GE is committed to enhancing services through increased investment in infrastructure and human capital." "With increased capacity comes a growing responsibility to ensure continued quality of services, and we will also continue to invest in training and up-skilling initiatives to strengthen our human capital capabilities," GE Asean CEO Stuart Dean told The Malaysian Reserve. Touching on the MRO industry in Malaysia, GEESM MD Suresh Kumar Shunmugam said the company is encouraged by the rapid growth of airline passengers in the region as this will translate into increased opportunities for the MRO sector. "Malaysia is among the top three countries in Asia Pacific for MRO services and will continue to remain a competitive market due its strategic location and accessibility to the region as well as costs and quality of talent." "Some of the biggest carriers such as AirAsia Bhd and Malaysia Airlines are based out of Malaysia and this is further bolstered by progressive government initiatives such as the Economic Transformation Programme and the government's commitment to increase human capital in high-growth sectors such as aviation," he said. GEESM has to date serviced up to 1,000 engines and over recent years, the company has serviced on average up to 100 engines per annum and aims to increase this by 100% by 2016. Suresh said the aviation landscape is fast evolving. Increased competition and rising fuel prices have placed added pressure for airlines to enhance operating efficiency and save on costs and this creates more aggressive customer demands. "Airlines want quicker turnaround at lower cost and to address this, we need teams that are agile and responsive to change," Suresh said.

Meanwhile, Destini Bhd, a marine and aviation MRO player, expects to benefit from the investments into the aviation MRO industry in Malaysia. Group MD Datuk Rozabil Abdul Rahman said the company has taken various initiatives in the past two years to strengthen its position in three key strategic businesses namely aviation, marine and oil and gas (O&G). "We are developing ourselves to be an integrated engineering solutions provider in these sectors and the expansion will diversify our sources of revenue compared to the previous years where the company is highly dependent on the aviation MRO activities." "In addition to Malaysia's operations, Destini also receives income from its overseas operations which now stretches from Dubai to Australia and China to Singapore and our sales reached as far as Brazil and the North Sea." He said, however, going global brings new challenges for Destini as the company needs to continue to develop its capabilities in terms of technology, human resources, financial management and operations in various legal jurisdictions and continuously turning itself into a homegrown multinational company to overcome these global challenges. As for the marine MRO services, Rozabil pointed out that the global market offers good prospects especially in the demand for safety and survival equipment. This is in line with the new regulation set by International Maritime Organisation that all ship operators and owners need to abide by the ruling and change the on/off load hook release systems for lifeboats, which is mandatory from July 1, 2014. "It is estimated that about 190,000 vessels will be affected by this new regulation and this is good news for Destini." Destini provides MRO services for the safety and survival equipment in the aviation and marine sectors and has acquired 51% stake in Vanguard Composite Engineering Pte Ltd, a Singapore-based company involved in the manufacturing of lifeboats and a 100% stake in Techno Fibre Group in October 2013, which is involved in MRO services for the marine sector. Both acquisitions are expected to broaden the company's income base as the companies have businesses that synergise with Destini's core business. According to global business consulting firm Frost & Sullivan, Malaysia is among the three leading countries for the aviation MRO services in the Asia Pacific after Singapore and Hong Kong. The government has set in place incentives and policies with the aim to capture a higher market share in this lucrative industry and position Malaysia as a major global player by 2015 as well as a regional outsourcing centre for Asia Pacific.

***Net cash co, MRO co, O&G co by taking over Samudra, Market player Dato ***** is a man behind, close to Mindef.... apa lagi Destini mau? Jawab nya, Destini mau jalan saja! ***

Wednesday, October 2, 2013


MELAKA, 1 Okt (Bernama) -- Kajian sekumpulan penyelidik sejarah mendapati bangsa Melayu berasal dari Timur Tengah berbanding teori sebelum ini yang menyebut bangsa itu berasal dari Yunan. Presiden Dunia Melayu Dunia Islam (DMDI) Datuk Seri Mohd Ali Rustam berkata kajian 20 tahun itu dilakukan Felo Penyelidik Utama dan Institut Alam dan Tamadun Melayu (ATMA) Universiti Kebangsaan Malaysia (UKM) Prof Emeritus Datuk Dr Nik Hassan Suhaimi Nik Abd Rahman; Pensyarah Fakulti Pengajian dan Pengurusan Universiti Pertahanan Nasional Malaysia Prof Datuk Dr Wan Hashim Wan Teh dan Pengerusi Suara Pribumi Zaharah Sulaiman. Beliau berkata penemuan berkenaan disokong bukti saintifik sekaligus menyanggah penemuan sejarah terdahulu. "Dari segi genetik daripada kajian asid deoksiribonukleik (DNA) yang dilakukan, DNA kita tidak sama dari negara di utara khususnya dari Yunan, DNA orang Melayu ini sama dengan orang Timur Tengah. "Kajian ini penting kerana DNA menentukan keturunan dan asal usul kita, penemuan baharu ini amat kuat dan boleh dipertahankan," katanya kepada pemberita selepas merasmikan Simposium Serantau Asal Usul Melayu Menelusuri Tunjang Melayu di sini, hari ini. Mohd Ali berkata hasil kajian berkenaan telah dibukukan dan bakal diterbitkan untuk tatapan umum. Sementara itu, Dr Nik Hassan Suhaimi berkata teori bangsa Melayu berasal dari Timur Tengah juga dapat dibuktikan melalui tiga lagi pendekatan kajian iaitu ethno-linguistik (bahasa), turun naik paras laut (geologi) dan kebudayaan material (artifak). -- BERNAMA

Wednesday, September 4, 2013



  • Dzikir Syariat : “La Ilaha Illallah” diucapkan berulang2 dgn lisan sampai masuk kedalam hati sehingga lisan/mulut tak berucap lagi, rahasia dzikir ini terdiri dari 12 huruf yg sama maknanya dengan Waktu 12 jam, dzikir ini selalu dikumandangkan oleh para malaikat bumi (Malaikatul Ahyar) ketika ALLAH SWT menciptakan setiap makhlukNYA di muka bumi.
  • Dzikir Tarekat : “ALLAH”ALLAH”ALLAH” diucapkan berulang2 di dalam hati saja dengan pengosongan pikiran fana (hampa) lalu fokus pada nama tadi sehingga nama ALLAH tadi membuat & menciptakan alam bayangan hidup  didepan mata anda sendiri, jangan kaget & takut oleh fenomena tersebut karena para jin syetan selalu mengintai anda tetapi berlindunglah Kepada ALLAH SWT yang Maha Menjaga Orang Beriman dgn ayat & doa : audzu billahi minas syathanir rajim…………… La ilaha illallah anta subhanaka inni kuntu minaz zhalimin……….lalu lafazkan… ALLAHU SALAMUN HAFIZHUN WALIYYUN WA MUHAIMIN ( Allah Yang Maha sejahtera, Maha Memelihara, Maha Melindungi lagi Maha Menjaga Hambanya yg beriman).
  • Dzikir Hakikat : “HU”HU”HU (DIA ALLAH) diucapkan dalam hati saja dengan keadaan fana (hampa) melalui perantaraan tarikan Nafas ke dalam sampai ke perut, usahakan perut tetap keras biarpun nafas telah keluar, dalam bahasa ilmu tenaga dalam ini adalah metode pemusatan power lahiriah dari perut, dalam istilah cina yin & yang ini adalah penyembuhan/pengobatan pada diri secara bathiniah dan kesemuanya itu benar adanya karena pusat perut adalah sumber daya energi kekuatan manusia secara lahiriah & bathiniah serta secara hakikat dzikir”HU” sebenarnaya tempatnya pada pusat perut dengan perantaraan cahaya nafas yg sangat berharga pada manusia.
  • Dzikir Ma’rifat : ” HU”AH”-”HU”AH”-HU”AH” atau HU-WAH” (Dia ALLAH Bersamaku”) sebenarnya bunyi dzikir ini sudah perpaduan antara hakikat & ma’rifat, dzikir tersebut dilantunkan dalam hati saja dengan gerakan nafas “HU” masuk kedalam “AH” keluar nafas, pada para sufi (wali Allah) ini adalah dzikir kenikmatan, kecintaan ( Mahabbatullah) yang sangat luas faedah hidayahnya & karomahnya sehinngga dapat menyingkap tabir rahasia2 Allah Swt pada gerakan kehidupan ini.
  • Dzikir rahasia  ma’rifat : ” Hu”wallahu Ahad (Allah Maha Tunggal) 
  • (copy n paste

     Makrifah berasal dari kata 'arafa-yurif, memiliki berbagai makna yang lahir dari padanya, antara lain, mengetahui dan mengenal lebih dalam (i'rfah), pengakuan dosa (i'tiraf), wukuf di Arafah ('arrafah al-hujjaj), Padang Arafah ('arafat), tempat antara surga dan neraka (a'raf), bersetubuh ('arafah al-ma'ah), saling mengenal satu sama lain (ta'aruf), warisan tradisi lama yang positif ('urf), terkenal, masyhur (ma'ruf), ilmu pengetahuan luas (ma'arif), dan pengetahuan yang mendalam dan komprehensif ('irfan/ma'rifah). Dari segi kebahasaan dapat dipahami makna makrifat memiliki konotasi lebih tinggi dan agung (hudhuri).
    Hu (Sufisme) Daripada Wikipedia :  
    Hu atau Huwa adalah nama Allah dalam Sufisme. Secara harfiahnya bererti "Dia". [1] Dalam Sufisme Hu adalah istilah lain yang digunakan untuk Allah, dan digunakan sebagai nama Allah. Allah Hu bererti "Allah, satu-satunya Dia!" Dalam bahasa Arab, Hu sebagai tambahan intensif untuk perkataan Allah, sehingga Allah Hu bererti "Allah itu sendiri." Hu juga ditemukan dalam lafaz Islam La Ilaha Ilallah Hu: "Tidak ada Tuhan kecuali Allah," atau dalam intepretasi Sufi "Tidak ada kenyataan, kecuali Allah." [2]
    *** Zikir adalah kata puji tiada yang lain puji muhammad kpd kekasih atau puji allah pada kekasih nya. Zikir sir adalah zikir rahsia. Bila dikata rahsia, juga tempat berzikir juga semesti nya rahsia (fahamilah). Zikir rahsia berbunyi AH (atau IH atau UH kerana baris diatas, dibawah dan didepan alif). 
    AH (IH dan UH) adalah gabungan antara huruf alif dan haa (apakah hakikat alif dan haa?). Sifat dan laku alif adalah atas, bawah dan didepan. Tidak ada alif dibelakang. Alif diatas berbunyi A, alif dibawah berbunyi I, alif didepan berbunyi U. Sementara haa hanya bersifat didepan (tiada dalam zikir disebut ha atau hi hanya hu, kerana tiada bersifat diatas atau dibawah. Haa didepan berbunyi HU bersesuaian kedudukan Haa hanya didepan walau apapun kedudukan alif samada didepan, atas atau dibawah). Fahami lah dengan kiasan.
     Ada yg berzikir dengan A,I,U (ada amalan AH, IH, UH dalam ilmu perapuh) atau HU, tetapi yang sebenar-benar zikir sir adalah AH kerana zikir ini pada hakikat nya digelar zikir perkamilan allah dan muhammad di sidratul muntaha. Pada AH berada makam fana dan baqa,cari dan gali lah! Kalau tidak kerana makrifat, tidak bersama Alif dan Haa menjadi AH (IH dan UH) ***. 

Monday, July 26, 2010


Cinta Illahi adalah Asyik. Bagaimana dengan Cinta Insani? Apa pun kedua-dua nya tetap dari kata Cinta. Sipencinta akan merasa kerinduan yang teramat didalam cinta yang mempunyai erti suatu tanda yang menggirangkan (Bahjah). Ibn Arabi menjelaskan didalam Futuhat Al-Makkiyah "Jika engkau mencintai suatu wujud kerana keindahannya,engkau tak lain mencintai Allah,kerana Dia adalah satu-satu nya Wujud yang Indah". Hakikat sebenarnya Cinta adalah hubungan yang mengakibatkan ketenangan iaitu setelah kembali 'ketanahair-negeri asal nya'. Al-Haqq adalah tempat kembali bagi Haqq dan tidak yang lain Haqq itu sendiri. Apakah maksud dengan 'ketanahair-negeri asalnya' itu adalah Al-Haqq?

Syahwat adalah punca untuk kembali ke 'asal mula' iaitu menutupi 'kekosongan' dan memadati 'lubang' kerana mustahil membiarkannya 'kosong'. Ada yang terkapai-kapai mencari 'martabat kosong'. Apakah 'martabat kosong'? Dimanakah ia? Martabat kosong tidak sama dengan martabat hampa. Berpegang kepada martabat hampa maka amat jauh untuk mencari Tuhan nya. Ada faham yang mengatakan Allah adalah kekosongan, tapi kosong bukan zatNya akan tetapi sifatNya. Juga ada faham yang menyebut La Ta'yun itu adalah martabat sepi.

Keadaan atau kewujudan Al-Haqq bergantung pada hubungannya dengan Haqq. Al-Haqq mewakili dan mempersembahkan aspek anugerah Tuhan. Dibiarkan Al-Haqq kosong bermakna tiada pengenalan untuk nya kerana Al-Haqq berhenti mewujud.

Syahwat merupakan Hijab. Hijab disini bukan seperti difahami oleh orang awam. Hijab bermaksud Kenal sebagaimana terkandung dalam khalimah 'kenal diri akan kenal Tuhan'. Apa pula maksud kenal disitu? Satu kemestian mengetahui maksud tersebut kerana ianya asas (basic) kepada ilmu mengenal. Kalau asas sudah terkapai bagaimana mahu menyelam keintinya.

'Pernikahan' bakal menenangkan agar terbuka hijab yang dimaksudkan. 'Pernikahan'ini cermin seolah berada diatas gambar yang saling menghadap dengan seluruh bahagian-bahagian yang bersifat jasmani yang sama antara satu dengan yang lainnya. Hijab juga bermaksud Dinding Jalal. Inilah tempat tajalli.

Sunday, August 18, 2013


Untuk menguasai dunia Islam, mesti menguasai Mekah???

 King FAISAL AL-SAUD declared to the WASHINGTON POST on Sept. 17, 1969: “WE, THE SAUDI FAMILY, are cousins of the Jews: we entirely disagree with any Arab or Muslim Authority which shows any antagonism to the Jews; but we must live together with them in peace. Our country (Arabia) is the Fountain head from where the first Jew sprang, and his descendants spread out all over the world.”

 Asal usul Raja Saudi adalah Yahudi Bani Al-Masalikh "Moyang mereka bernama Mordakhai bin Ibrahim bin Monshe berasal dari Bani Al Masalikh hidup sekitar 851 H dari suku kaum Anza. Terlibat di dalam perniagaan gandum dan Jagung dari Iraq. Beliau sememangnys bercita-cita untuk kembali dan menguasai di bumi Najd. Di awalnya beliau terpaksa berhadapan dengan Syaik Shaleh Salman Abdullah Al- Tamimi seorang Ulama yang berdakwah di sekitar Najd, Yaman dan Hijaz. Beliau menukarkan namanya kepada Markhan bin Ibrahim Musa. Ditempat tinggal beliau, Al-Qatef, beliau menguatkan kedudukan beliau dengan cerita2 palsu tentang kehebatan kaum Yahudi .Beliau mempergunakan kaum Arab Badwi lalu mengangkat beliau menjadi ketua/Raja. Beliau di tentang oleh kabilah Bani Khaled dan melarikan diri ke Al Arid(Riyadh) mencari perlindungan. Beliau di beri perlindungan di Riyadh oleh sebuah keluarga, namun keluarga tersebut dibunuh beliau. Beliau membuat cerita keluarga tersebut dibunuh pencuri dan rumah dan tanah tersebut telah dibeli beliau. Disinilah beliau mengatur strategi dengan menubuhkan pasukan perang untuk membunuh Shaik Shaleh Salman Abdullah Al-Thamimi yg akhirnya dibunuh di sebuah masjid di Al-Zhafi. Di Riyadh inilah beliau mengamalkan poligami dengan menikahi puluhan gadis dan melahirkan banyak anak yang diberikan nama-nama Arab. Salah seorang anak Mordakhai bernama Al-Maqaran(didalam yahudi di panggil Mack-Ren). Al Maqaran mempunyai anak bernama Muhammad dan Sa’ud. Melalui keturunan Saud inilah berasalnya Dinasti Saud. Dinasti Saud mengagap semua penduduk Najd menghina Tuhan . Darah mereka halal, harta benda mereka dirampas dan kaum wanita dijadikan hamba. Tidak ada seorang muslim pun di kira benar kecuali pengikut ajaran Muhammad bin Abdul Wahab (keturunan Yahudi Turki). Mereka yang menentang akan di bunuh. Doktrin Wahabi memberikan autority kepada Keluarga Saudi untuk menghancurkan perkampungan dan penduduknya, termasuk anak-anak dan memperkosa wanitanya, menusuk perut wanita hamil, memotong tangan anak-anak, kemudian membakarnya. Selanjutnya mereka diberikan kewenangan dengan ajarannya yang kejam (brutal doctrin ) untuk merampas semua harta kekayaan milik orang yang dianggapnya telah menyimpang dari ajaran agama karena tidak mengikuti ajaran Wahabi. Seorang munafik bernama Muhammad Amin Al-Tamimi – Direktor Perpustakaan Kontemporari Kerajaan Saudi menyusun garis keturunan (Family Tree) untuk keluarga Saudi ini kepada Nabi Muhammad SAW. Sebagai imbalan pekerjaannnya itu, ia menerima imbalan sebesar 35.000 (Tiga Puluh Lima Ribu) Pound Mesir dari Duta Besar Saudi Arabia di Kairo pada tahun 1362 H atau 1943 M. Nama Duta Besar Saudi Arabia KETIKA itu adalah Ibrahim Al-Fadel. Keluarga Yahudi yang jahat dan mengerikan ini melakukan segala jenis kekejaman atas nama agama palsu mereka (Wahhabi) yang sebenarnya diciptakan oleh seorang Yahudi untuk menaburkan benih-benih keganasan di dalam hati penduduk. Pada tahun 1163 H, Dinasti Yahudi ini mengganti nama semenanjung Arab dengan nama keluarga mereka, menjadi Saudi Arabia, seolah-olah seluruh wilayah itu milik pribadi mereka, dan penduduknya sebagai bujang atau budak mereka, bekerja keras siang dan malam untuk kesenangan tuannya, yaitu Keluarga Saudi. Raja Faisal Al-Saud tidak mampu menyanggah bahwa keluarganya adalah keluarga Yahudi ketika memberitahukan kepada The Washington Post pada 17 September 1969, dengan menyatakan bahwa: “Kami, Keluarga Saudi adalah keluarga Yahudi. Kami sepenuhnya tidak setuju dengan setiap penguasa Arab atau Islam yang memperlihatkan permusuhannya kepada Yahudi, sebaliknya kita harus tinggal bersama mereka dengan damai. Negeri kami, Saudi Arabia merupakan sumber awal Yahudi dan nenek-moyangnya, dari sana menyebar ke seluruh dunia”.

Wednesday, August 14, 2013


Makam Moyang, Tuan Chik Bin Tuan Tengah
Penghulu Mukim Kuala Nerus.

Pada hari raya ke 3, terbuka hati untuk menziarahi Tanah Perkuburan kampung asal keluarga di kampung Seberang Tuan Chik (Seberang Bukit Tumbuh). Pertama kali ke situ bersama adik aku Syed AlHafidz. Tanah perkuburan tersebut berbukit yang terletak di belakang Surau Kg. Seberang Tuan Chik. Sekira nya tiada tanda nama, pasti aku akan tertanya2 kubur siapa. Tanda nama masih baru, aku kira itu hasil usaha Almarhum Ayoh Ko (Syed Abu Bakar AlKhirid @ Tuan Padang) ketika masih hidup. Batu nesan hanyalah ketulan batu sungai.

Dipuncak bukit terletak makam moyang Tuan Chik Bin Tengah juga makam Tuan Sembok (Syed Ahmad AlKhirid) dan isteri nya Tuan Kembang.

Asal nama kg Seberang Tuan Chik ialah kg Seberang Tuan Tengah. Tuan Tengah adalah ayahanda kpd Tuan Chik (aka Tuan Chik Misai @ Tok Misai) yg diceritakan berhijrah (mungkin juga lari dari Siam) bersama keluarga dari Kota Bharu (atau dari tempat lain sebelum Kota Bharu). Pusara adik beradik Tuan Chik iaitu Tuan Besar (aka Tuan Besar Saudagar) dan Tuan Muda (Tuan Muda Lelah) terletak di Kg Titian Baru (dulu dipanggil kg Ngadang Buluh).

 Ditanah perkuburan di Titian Baru juga terletak pusara seorang lagi moyang aku, Tengku Embong bin Tengku Wok (aka Tg.Embong Tuli @ Tg Embong Mata Merah). Tanah perkuburan tersebut adalah tanah perkuburan persendirian yg terletak didepan rumah Tuan Nik bt Tuan Chik (adik kepada datuk, Tuan Hitam b Tuan Chik).

Atas : Pusara Tengku Embong Bin Tengku Wok (Besan Tuan Chik Misai)
Bawah: Pusara Tuan Besar Bin Tuan Tengah (Abang Tuan Chik Misai)

Isteri Tuan Chik (aka Tuan Chik Misai @ Tok Misai) ialah Tuan Teh Al-Idrus iaitu adik kepada Tuan Chik Haji @ Sayid Ahmad Al-Idrus. Sementara adik kepada Tuan Chik (aka Tuan Chik Misai @ Tok Misai) iaitu Tuan Nik ada lah isteri kepada Tuan Chik Haji.

Saturday, July 6, 2013


Hot from oven. Bank Negara Malaysia (BNM) today announce some measures to address the alarming household debt among Malaysians. As reported, household debts have continued to increase at a strong pace, averaging at an annual rate of 12% over past 5 years. While this has been supported by positive income and employment conditions, in the more recent period, there has been a growing trend in the offering of financial products that are not in the long-term interest of consumers.

What does this mean?
This includes extended financing tenures of up to 45 years for house financing and 25 years for personal financing!!! Wow... Is it too long the tenure? While this may reduce the monthly repayments, in the long run, this increase the overall debt burden of households. If we don't stop this kind of practice, it will encourage excessive debt accumulation by households and increase the vulnerability of this sector.
Hence, BNM has to take actions...
The implementation of a set of measures aimed at avoiding excessive household indebtedness and to reinforce responsible lending practices by key credit providers. These measures, which take effect immediately, complements the earlier measures introduced since 2010 to promote a sound and sustainable household sector.

What are the measures?
  1. Maximum tenure of 10 years for financing extended for personal use;
  2. Maximum tenure of 35 years for financing granted for the purchase of residential and non-residential properties;
  3. Prohibition on the offering of pre-approved personal financing products.

Who will be affected the most?
For sure, borrowers (excessive one) will be short-handed. However, those good quality borrowers will not be affected. Meanwhile, the hands of financial institutions once again being tighten further. It will definitely impact the loans growth, but with a more quality growth. Property sector will face some minimal impacts, given most of the loan approved is within 35 years of financing.

For Finance Malaysia, this is good news for our country's financial sector. Excessive household debts, coupled with poor quality loans, will endangers the financial system. Worth to highlight here is the pre-approved loan is being banned now. Long time ago, Finance Malaysia is very uncomfortable with such offerings, with the intention to "indulge" bank clients to borrow. Now, we are relieve. Do you agree?

Friday, July 5, 2013



                                            with late-cliff burton

Suara bantahan :

Friday, June 21, 2013


                                                     Martyrdom of Lady Rokayya (SA)
                                                     Kesyahidan Sakinah

According to different historical accounts, between the 3rd and 13th Safar is the day when we remember the martyrdom anniversary of Bibi Sakina bint-al-Hussain (SA) - the 4-year old beloved daughter of Imam Hussain (AS) who died in the prison of Damascus after the family of the Prophet Muhammad (sa) were made prisoners after the tragedy of Karbala and detained in the prison of Damascus.

On the day of Ashura - the 10th of Muharram, she gave her mashk to Hadrat Abbas Ibn Ali (AS) to get some water for her and the children. When Hadrat Abbas (AS) went to fetch water, the children gathered round Lady Sakina with their little cups, knowing that as soon as Hadrat Abbas brought any water, Lady Sakina would first make sure that they had some before taking any herself. When Lady Sakina saw Imam Hussain (AS) bringing the blood drenched 'alam (flag) she knew that her uncle Abbas had been martyred.

Knowing that her weeping upset her mother, Lady Sakina (SA) would cry silently and quickly wipe away her tears! In the prison in Damascus she would stare at the flock of birds flying to their nests at sunset and innocently ask Sayyida Zainab (as),her aunt, "Will we ever be going home like those birds flying to their homes?"

Her Martyrdom
One night Sayyida Sakina (SA) was asleep and she suddenly woke up crying and started to look for her father everywhere. All the ladies tried to console her so she would stop crying but she didn't get any peace and continued crying, "O my dear aunt where is my father a few minutes ago I was with my father and he kissed me and said to me that my dear Sakina you will soon be with me. But where is my father now?"

When Sayyida Sakina told her dream, all the ladies started to cry and now this noise of crying was heard by Yazid (la) at his court. Yazid sent a servant to ask why they were crying. The servant was informed that Sayyida Sakina (as) missed her father and that is why she was crying.

They informed Yazid of the situation, and Yazid, for his sadistic pleasure, sent the severed head of Imam Hussain (AS) to the prison and when Bibi Sakina received the head of her father she started to cry even more and held it very tight and asked her father, who cut off my father's head, who martyred my father, why are we held as captives?

With these words of sorrow suddenly Sayyida Sakina (as) was quiet and there was a silence in the cell. Everyone thought that Sakina had finally gone to sleep again but this was not a temporary sleep, Sakina had now gone into a permanent sleep. Sayyida Zainab Bint Ali (as) called Zain-ul Abideen (AS),Imam Ali Ibn al-Hussain (as) to check the status of Sakina as they thought she had fallen unconscious. When the Imam (AS) went over to check on his sister, he noticed she had stopped breathing.


Sayyida Sakina (SA) was buried in the same dungeon. Sayyida Zainab (AS) held the still child as Imam Zain-ul Abideen dug a grave for her sister in the dungeon. Her clothes were burnt in Kerbala, and due to injuries, had intermingled with her flesh. Therefore, she was buried in the same burnt, ripped clothes right there in he Dungeon of Syria .

When the time came and they were released from the prison, Sayyida Rabab (mother of Sayyida Sakina) came to the grave of her beloved daughter (SA), put her cheek on Sayyida Sakina (A.S)'s grave and cried out, "Speak to me Sakina. Only a word, my child, speak to me".

Sayyida Sakina's body was removed from its original burial place, Dungeon of Syria, some centuries later, when a pious man of Damascus was informed in his dream that water was pouring into the grave of this young Hashmite princess (SA). Upon confirmation that ground water was actually entering the grave, Bibi Sakina's body was buried in a new shrine near Yazeed's (La) palace, where she rests today. Her body was in the condition that if she had been buried the same day.

It was her father Imam Hussain (AS),grandson of the Prophet Muhammad (sa), who was brutally killed in Karbala. It was her baby brother Ali Asghar (AS) who had an arrow shot through his neck by the forces of Yazeed (la). It was her beloved uncle Abbas (AS) that had both his arms cut off. It was she who spent her last days in a dungeon. The little princess of Imam Hussain (AS). The only person to never make it out of that desolate dungeon. She was Sayyida Sakina (SA), the young Hashemite princess.

On this occasion of mourning in the household of the Prophet Muhammad (sa), I extend my condolences to the Prophet Muhammad and his Ahlul Bayt (AS) and our 12th Imam (ajtf). May the curse of Allah (swt) be on those who inflicted pain upon the Prophet and his holy family (AS).
I am Sakinah, today is Ashoora and here is Karbala

Perhaps an hour has passed noon. I do not know. From morning to now, for us, it has seemed like a lifetime; especially these moments that father has gone towards the battlefield. It is hard to gaze at the cloud of dust rising in the battlefield and to hear the shrieks of the enemy, while father is among them; it is very hard.

The sound of the drums beating and the shrill screams of the enemy make our hearts sink. We are surrounded with dust and blood.

The sunshine above us is hot and the earth beneath, even hotter. Thirst, thirst, our mouths are burning from thirst, our lips have dried up like parched clay, our tongues are hard and dry in our mouths and our faces have become pale from the extreme heat. My father had only seventy-two soldiers while Yazid had an army of tens of thousands.

Since morning, my father's followers have gone to the battlefield one by one. They stood bravely against the enemy's army, they fought with courage, they killed tens of the enemy soldiers and then they were martyred. Now, my father is all alone, surrounded by the soldiers of the enemy.

Oh, how I wish the distance between the tents and the battlefield was not this long. How I wish I could see father fighting. How I wish father had let me go with him. A father fighting alone against a vast army and his restless daughter having no news about him! The only thing visible from here is a haze of dust and dirt and the only thing hearable is the uproar of the enemy.

Yesterday, the wrinkles of weariness were clearly visible in my father's expression. Thousands of people from Kufa and other cities had written him letters and promised to support him if he rose against Yazid's ruthless government.but only seventy-two people came to help him. Those seventy-two people were very dear to my father. My father told them, "You are the best of people.

I do not know any followers more loyal and faithful than you; no one has ever had followers as fine as mine." We all cried when they were martyred but father did not show his sorrow. When my older brother Ali-Akbar fell down from his horse we all lost heart but father did not.

When the enemies' arrow ripped Ali-Asghar's throat on my father's hands, we started wailing and weeping, but father stood firm. When my uncle Abbas, who was father's flagman, the sentinel of the tents and the provider of water, fell from his horse and the enemy cut his body to father kept his patience; but his stature was bent and he put his hands on his waist crying, "My back broke".

When all of my father's followers became martyred, my father prepared himself to go to the battlefield, but first he gathered all the women and children and told them with calmness, "Make yourselves ready for affliction and hardship. Be sure that God is your protector. He will soon save you from the enemy and you shall have a fine destiny. And your enemies will experience all kinds of torture and suffering. Instead of these sufferings, God will give you many blessings and treat you with generosity. So do not complain about anything and do not say thing that decrease your dignity."

After this, we were all sure that father would be martyred. I said, "Father, have you surrendered yourself to death?" Then I burst into tears and cried and cried. I did not want to act impatiently, but I no longer had the power. I was not the only one that was restless. Even my aunt, Zainab who tried to comfort us, was wiping away her tears.
Father hugged me and said: "Sweetheart, how can someone with no allies not surrender to death?"

I started sobbing again and said: "Under whose care will you put us?"
Father wiped my tears with his hands and lips and after kissing my wet eyelashes said, "I put you under the care of God and His blessings; He who supports you in this world and the afterworld. Have patience, my daughter, about the things that God wants and don't complain, because this world will come to an end and but the afterworld remains."

I did not complain and I was not ungrateful, but I cried and cried. How could I not cry, while my father, the best father in the world, was going to the battlefield all-alone to stand against thousands of men? Father said farewell to everybody and stroked the children's hair affectionately.

Then he whispered things to my aunt Zainab that we could not understand. After that, he told her to bring him an old garment. We were all surprised and asked, "Why do you want an old garment?" Father answered: "The enemy is an unmanly one. After killing me, they will take my clothes as spoils. I want to wear an old garment under my clothes so my body will not be bare after I'm martyred."

It was as if father was going to a splendid ceremony. He put on his clothes, fastened his sword and armor, wiped the sweat of his forehead with his turban, then tidied his gray beard and prepared to go towards a savage enemy that was awaiting him with barbaric shrieks.

None could prevent him from going and even if he did not go, the enemy would come to the tents. No one could prevent him from going, because he had foretold his death before this day and he had said that Islam would only survive if he were martyred. No one could tell him, "Father, don't go!" "Uncle, don't go!" "Brother, don't go!"

Because he was the Imam of all, and we all knew that the Imam only does what God wants. However, we only wanted him to stay with us one more moment, so we could see him, speak with him and listen to his voice a little longer.
My aunt Zainab, trembling, cried out with tearful eyes, "Not so fast dear brother, not so fast."

Father stood and for one last time looked at the crowd of distressed women and children who were crying after him. If anyone other than father had seen this scene, he would have surely slowed his pace; but there was no change in father's faith and decision and he did not slow his pace. He just gave us an affectionate wave with his hand, put us under the care of God, and hurried towards his horse.

I could not bare it any more. This was too little for me; I, who in a few moments would lose such a good father and become an orphan. I stood up involuntarily and without father seeing me, ran towards his horse. Father was sitting firmly on his horse and was getting ready to go. However, the horse did not move because I had clasped my hands tightly around its legs. The horse was staring into my eyes and was crying with my cries. Father got off his horse and held me tight to his chest. He wiped my tears and said, "Oh my daughter, my dear daughter."

I said, "Oh father. When Moslem was martyred, you hugged his orphan girl and patted her head. If you go and I become an orphan who is going to pat my head?" Father's eyes filled with tears. I could feel his heart breaking. While fighting back his tears, he slowly whispered to me, "Sakinah, my daughter, please do not cry, because after I go you will shed many tears. While I am here, while I am still alive, do not set my heart ablaze with your tears.

Oh, best daughter in the world, truly after I go you have the most right to cry. "I knew it was impossible, but I don't know why I said, "Father, take us back to Medina beside the shrine of our grandfather, the Prophet (peace be upon him and his household)."

Father turned his innocent look towards the enemy and said, "You know it's not possible my daughter." The shrieks and screams of the enemy were becoming louder and father had to go. Father set off and I could still feel the warmth of his dried lips on my cheeks. Now I can hear the clanging of swords and the neighing of horses and the savage screams of the enemy. We are standing beside the tents; we are holding our breaths and shivering with fright.

Oh, I think this is my father's horse coming towards us without a rider, its head and mane covered in blood. Is this the sound of my cry or Fatima's or Roghayah's.

***Kisah yang paling aku suka, kisah puteri bongsu Husain. Dari dulu kisah ini mesti buat air mata aku jatuh. Terasa keperitan yang dialami Sakina. Mendengar jeritan hati Sakinah bagai kan mendengar rintihan anak-anak Syria yang berada dalam kancah perang saudara sekarang. *** 

Friday, June 7, 2013


TA Securities Update :
Current Price RM0.32
Target Price RM0.65

As we roll forward our valuation base year to CY14, we raise the target price to RM0.65/share ( from RM0.50/share previously) , based on unchanged 10X PE multiple. We continue to like SKPRes given its positive earnings prospect and solid cash position in supporting of div yield of above 7% in the future.......

Saturday, May 25, 2013


Sambungan dari 'AYAT DAN MENTERA'

Untuk Kebal :
Bismillahirrahmannirahim. Ashadu allailahailallah. Wujud ku wujud Allah. Ashadu annamuhammadarasulullah sifat ku sifat Allah. Maujud Muhammad maujud Allah. Kekal Muhammad kebal , kebal dunia kebal akhirat. Lahaulawala kuwatailla billah hilali yilazim. Ruh idhofi Zat Allah, Ruh idhofi sifat Allah, Ruh idhofi afal Allah, dengan berkat la ila hailla allah hu.

(rujuk kepada guru)

Penahan mani :
Mentera ini dibaca ketika air mani hendak keluar sambil menahan nafas, supaya tahan lama inilah mentera nya : hai di wadi mani manikam, kembalilah engkau keistana engkau, jika engkau tak kembalike istana engkau, derhaka lah engkau kepada Allahhh. 

***menjadi atau berkesan ke tidak, bukan persoalan bagi aku....tapi aku tertarik dengan susunan ayat dan perkataan yang digunakan yang tidak lari dari hakikat mengenal diri. Betul lah kata setengah-setengah guru tua bahawa hakikat mengenal diri itulah sebenar-benar nya Ibu Gayung***

Ayat Sekepal :
Nasi sekepal kepal
Aku tumbuk dilesung besi
Aku pakai ilmu sekebal
Kebal diluar kebal didalam
Kebal martabat Allah
Hu Haq
Mu tu Mutlaq
(amalan APC)

Nurullah ahli nur gerak
Gerak meliputi seluruh tubuh ku
Ku serta Allah
(amalan AF)

Sunday, May 5, 2013


Aku ke pusat pengundian di Sek Keb Pandan Indah. Menakjubkan barisan ke bilik 8 begitu panjang, Bilik 8 untuk pengundi2 muda. Hari ini hari rakyat membuat keputusan. Masing-masing mempunyai satu harapan untuk menjadi kan Malaysia lebih baik. Bagi aku, isu hutang negara menjadi kebimbangan. Dianggar kan hutang kerajaan dan swasta melebihi RM700 bil, salah memilih dan salah memberi mandat, aku pasti hutang melebihi RM1 trillion dalam masa 5 tahun mendatang. Aku tak mau anak-anak aku menghadapi apa yang rakyat Portugal dan Sepanyol hadapi sekarang. Kadar pengangguran di Portugal 20% dari jumlah penduduk, sementara di Sepanyol 27%. Rasuah, boros dan tiris adalah pemyumbang yang amat besar kepada hutang negara tersebut...Selamat Mengundi!!!!

                                                                  Ke pusat mengundi

 Dakwat kekal pada jari aku???

Tuesday, April 23, 2013


Dalam Wacana ATMA Umdat Al-Muhtajim Panduan Perjalanan Rohani Ahlillah Alam Melayu di Institut Alam & Tamadun Melayu (ATMA), UKM, Felo Penyelidik Kanan Prod Madya Dr Mohd Syukri Yeoh Abdullah telah mengemukakan andaian bahwa kekuatan dan keampuhan sesuatu Kerajaan Melayu sehingga sukar ditewaskan adalah disebabkan adanya ulama mursyid dibelakang nya. Contoh yang diberi Kesultanan Acheh Darussalam dibawah kepimpinan Sultan Iskandar Muda yang menawan seluruh alam Melayu. Juga Terengganu serta Kelantan ketika dibawah naungan Kerajaan Melayu Pattani.

Kedudukan ulama mursyid disebalik kekuatan kerajaan juga boleh dilihat pada peranan Wali Songo dalam Kesultanan Cirebon di Jawa Barat.


HEY MA, I REMEMBER YOUR VOICE: Mom died protecting daughter from robbers.

Written by  Hui Wen
HEY MA, I REMEMBER YOUR VOICE: Mom died protecting daughter from robbers, who is to blame Hisham?
KUALA LUMPUR — On Saturday, Ong Ai Sam, 52, fended off two robbers in a desperate bid to buy her daughter time to escape. She succeeded, but paid for it with her life.
This is the message her daughter wishes she could hear.
My mother, my hero
I remember. I remember everything.
A few months ago in English class, my teacher asked us to write about the person who we admire. I wrote about my mum. A month ago for my English March Test paper, the topic I wrote about was “My Hero”. I wrote about my mum. During my test, I had writer’s block so I simply wrote out everything i knew about my mum: her childhood, achievements, etc. My mum is my hero. She always has been, she always will be.
20th April 2013.
Mama left early in the morning for some event her Kiwanis Club’s K-Kids had planned. She came back home with lunch for me and Milo ais. I remember grumbling to her because I didn’t want to follow my parents jungle trekking. I did anyway. We had to set up a trail for my father’s running group so mama was carrying a bag with just plain paper in it. I remember grumbling to my mum as we went up and down the hills of Gasing. She told me we’d be out soon. After two hours of trekking in the jungle, we finally hit the road. It was the road in Gasing leading up to the temple. We decided to walk back down to the car.
As we walked down the steep road, there was nobody there. No people, no cars. Just the two of us. As we nearly reached the first house, we heard a motorbike sound from behind. We turned around and saw two men on a motorbike. Mama said walk further in onto the pavement so we did. As the motorbike drove past us, they stopped. The man from behind jumped off. My mum pushed me to the back and told me to go. The man attacked my mum straight away, without saying any words. The knife he used was just a normal kitchen knife, the blade was about 10cm long. As my mum tried to protect herself, she turned to her left, only to be stabbed twice on the back of her right shoulder. She was struggling to escape. The attacker then proceeded to stab the back of her left shoulder. Mama tried so hard to escape. She fell on the ground and the attacker pulled her on the road and stabbed her thigh. I tried to help but the attacker thrust the knife my way so I ran back further. I couldn’t do anything but scream at the top of my lungs. I screamed and screamed. The attacker hopped on the bike and rode off.
I remember.
I remember watching my mum’s body lying on the road, all the blood oozing out. The attacker did not manage to get any of my mum’s belongings. She told me to call my dad. I ran down the hill looking for help. The first house I went to, the maid (who saw everything that happened) ran in and did not even try to help me. I ran further down and saw a car. They saw me and stopped. And I told them what happened. The driver, Mr Lai, told me to get in and we drive up to my mum. Mr Lai called the ambulance and the police while I tried to keep my mum conscious. There was blood everywhere. My mum just kept saying “save me”. Her voice was so week. My dad reached the site 10 minutes later, after running all the way. Mama kept telling us that she couldn’t breathe. I prayed and prayed. She was slowly losing herself. We tried our best to keep her awake and conscious. The police arrived. We put her in the police car since the ambulance hadn’t arrived. As we reached down the road, the ambulance was there so they transferred mum into the ambulance.
I remember.
I remember sitting in the ambulance, holding my mum’s hand and trying to talk to her but she didn’t respond. I remember crying. The paramedics were doing all they could do at that point. I remember calling Eu Lim, who was at church to pray for my mum. We reached the hospital in three minutes. They rushed my mum to the emergency was. I wasn’t allowed to enter and I was so, so scared. My dad had followed Mr Lai’s car and they hadn’t reached yet. I had to settle my mum’s registration and then I had to talk to the police. My dad arrived. Then my friends arrived. I sat at the doorway of the hospital, praying and praying. 10 minutes later, my dad came out and told me my mum didn’t make it. I dropped in the middle of the hospital floor, screaming. Everyone was looking at me, but I didn’t care. A bunch of doctors came out to get me; they took me to a special room. They questioned me and they told me about how my mum was already gone when we were in the ambulance. They tried their best to revive her.
I remember.
I remember coming home. My friends just sat in silence. I just sat in silence. I was covered in blood, mama’s blood. I had to get myself together. I had to bathe. We broke the news to my sister through Face Time and that was really hard to do. Slowly, people started coming. It was hard seeing my aunts and uncles cry, my parent’s close friends, my close friends and to know I had to keep it all together. It was really hard, telling my story to everyone. It’s really hard to even close my eyes for awhile because i see it replaying in my head over and over again. Watching my mum lying in her pool of blood and not being able to do anything. Not being able to save her.
People come, then people leave. All I hear is “I’m so sorry for your loss” or “my condolences”. All I hear is people questioning me about what happened, since I was the sole witness. But I am so tired of telling this story over and over again. I am so tired of hearing other people tell this story. This is my story. This is the truth. Newspapers and reporters may twist it around and exaggerate to the whole world, but this story will remain the truth forever.
I am truly grateful and appreciative to everyone who came, whether it was for a short period, or a long time. Thank you to those who’ve brought a little bit more of hope and joy to me, even though you guys didn’t try. Thank you to those who’ve brought food and drinks, and flowers. Thank you to everyone who called, texted, Whatsapped, Facebook-ed and tweeted me. I don’t know how i became a trending topic overnight (#prayforhuiwei). I was mad at first, but then I realised how much my family had all of your love and support. Whether i know you or not, whether you knew my mum or not, all your kind words really helped. My mother was such an amazing and beautiful person.
I remember.
My mum’s last words to me were “I love you so much” dying there, on the road. I watched it all. I watched it all slip out of my hands. Now my life feels so empty. I keep thinking to myself that this is all a dream. Maybe I’d wake up and be able to avoid this from happening. Maybe if someone pinched me I’d wake up from this nightmare. But this is reality, and I have to face the facts. I have to face the fact that I’m alone now. I have to face the sounds of crying and wailing from the other room. I have to face the facts that I’m going to grow up motherless, clueless and confused. It won’t be easy, but I will get through this.
I love you so much. And I am so sorry I had to watch you die. I am so sorry I couldn’t save you. But you’re with God now. Ma you’re such a great person. Beautiful inside and out. And I thank you for teaching me your ways. Thank you for always teaching (scolding) me to be a better person. Even though we’ve had our moments, and times we didn’t see eye to eye, you’ll always be my best friend. Who’s going to pick me up from school now? Who am I going to say “HEY MA” to and tell them about my day? Who’s going to cuddle up with me on the couch and be lazy for awhile?
Remember how you used to come into my room while I was studying, and hug me then tickle me. Remember how you used to sing me to sleep when I was young. Or how you used sing when you’re happy. You had a beautiful voice. Remember how we sat on the couch, looking for coloured beads to do arts and crafts. Remember every single day we spent together.
I just saw your body, lying in the coffin. You look so beautiful, peaceful, just like you’re sleeping. And I have the biggest urge to scream “wake up”. Thank you, Ma. For giving me life, for giving me love. You taught me everything good in my life. You were always selfless, God-fearing. You were my strong pillar of hope and love. And even though you’re no longer here with us, you’re with God. And you’re happy, just like how you appeared in Lissa’s dream. And I do hope justice will be served. They’re working on finding the criminals, ma. They will be caught.
We all miss you, ma, we miss you so much. Goh Ee and Sar Ee has already appointed themselves as my “mama” and I see you so much of you in them. And it’s not going to be the same anymore. Nothing will be the same anymore. You’re not going to watch me graduate, you’re not going to watch me get married. You’re not going to be there to take care of my children. But I know you are with us in spirit, and you’re always watching over us. Please give me the strength and courage to move forward with my life. Please give me the motivation to be better. To be more like you. To spread the love and joy. Papa, Tache and I will always be grateful for you are the biggest blessing God has given. And maybe you’ve done too much good so The Lord called you home. And you are safe now, safe with God. He will watch over you (and us) and protect you. You are safe from all the evil now.
I will make you proud, mama. I will make everyone proud. I love you so much. I’ll love you every single day of my life, and I’ll never forget whatever you’ve done for me. Thank you so much. Rest in peace, mama, I love you.
* This is a post written by Hui Wei on the blog, “the ugly truth”.